Why Has the Elderly Lost Society's Respect?
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I remember when the elderly in our society were well respected. When people held doors open for older people and when senior citizens were thought of as wise and insightful.
People looked up to them as someone who have been around the block a couple more times and therefore they held a certain level of knowledge in their life banks that society thought of as useful. I remember holding all my teachers in high regard and having great respect for most of them. Sure there was some that I couldn’t stand but for the most part I respected them, sometimes respect born of fear but nonetheless respect. Especially the older teachers who were so intuitive and wise. Now my question is when did this stop? It seems every generation that comes up in the world has less and less respect for our elderly. I am not trying to make a generalization here, I am well aware that there are many people who respect their elderly, but I am speaking of the ones that don’t. Why don’t they? And what happened in their life that they don’t see why this is wrong?
I experienced something the other night that set this hub in motion. That I would like to share here on hub pages and maybe others can give me some insight as to why situations like this happen. Here’s what happened:
I was at the grocery store the other night getting some things. I was ready to check out at the register and this young man around 24-25 years old came up behind me and didn’t get in line all the way, he kind of just left his basket close to the register and then went to look at something. In the meantime, an elderly lady, around 75 years old got in line in front of him. I guess she didn’t realize that he was in line. This guy came back to his basket and preceded to ask the women why she got in front of him. He said, “hey lady why did you get in front of me, my basket was here and you took my place”? I looked up and saw his face was red with rage and the women was kind of shaking and looked up at him like she couldn’t really understand, perhaps she couldn’t hear him very well being that she was older, so she just kept putting her things up by the register and didn’t reply. Then I heard the young man again, “Hey lady, I am talking to you, why don’t you understand that you got in front of me, I cannot believe this shit, this old lady got in front of me”. Finally, the next lady at the register next to ours turned to him and said, “sir, I can help you at this register”. He just rolled his eyes and said, I cannot believe this shit”. The woman looked at me and said in a very weak voice, “ I don’t know what he was saying, I didn’t mean to get in front of him”. I told her not to worry about it because he was a jerk.
I wondered why she was even out at this late hour by herself. I wondered if she even had anyone like a family member to take care of her or help her as she didn’t look like she was in very good health; she looked kind of frail. I felt empathy for her and felt bad that I didn’t lay into this guy. But being that it was a late hour and this guy was so mean, I didn’t really want to start anything with him myself. But I did make it a point to watch the lady as she got to her car so that nothing happened to her.
So this is the basis for my question. When did respect for the elderly stop? What has happened in this young man’s life that he wouldn’t allow an elderly, frail, woman to get in front of him in line. Why did it anger him so much? I realize that some people’s core values are not as apparent as others. Maybe he never had anyone to show him respect and how to give it. I realize also that certain cultures, holds ethics and values in a whole different level. That what is important to one person isn’t as important to another but what kind of value system does a young man have that he had so little respect for an elderly lady at a grocery store at a late hour? Something so small as a courtesy of letting someone cut in front of him was something that irritated him to the point that he could’ve resorted to violence? The young man walked away as though he was wronged, and I guess this is what bothers me most of all.
I felt sad for humanity that day and maybe I am making too much into this but am I? I mean lately in the news we hear about the elderly getting beat up by gangs of teenagers that don’t have anything else to do. Eighty year old woman are getting mugged and beat down in subway and bus stations. Homeless people are getting set on fire just for fun. So you tell me am I making too much into this situation? I think not.
I do know that karma is a bitch and this guy will get his somewhere, sometime; I just wish I could be there to see it.
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I think it was Mahatma Gandhi who said, "You can judge a society by how they treat their weakest members." However, if ignorance is a weakness, one wonders who to pity most, in your story.
Excellent, excellent hub!!!!!! I saw in the forum was a subject titled, "What's wrong with America" or something like that. This, this is what's wrong with America. And this starts many problems, conflicts. Great job, ladyjane, you've got my support and my respect!!!!
I read this shaking my head the whole way through it. It's says a lot about our society when this happens, and none of it good. An excellent article that shows we have a lot of work to do. The best way that I can see us making a change is to show them how it should be done. One person at a time. Your hub is a good reminder for all of us to make that effort
I worked in S. Korea over a 4 year period where this would never ever ever happen. I was in my 50's then and treated like royalty as was every elder in that country. It was culture shock to come back here and hear constantly how our elders are robbed, beaten, murdered, raped and totally abused.
My thoughts - first America embraces youth because they can take advantage of the weakest which in this case is the young because they have no idea what is going on - you can sell them anything as we are are a consumer culture. They are preyed on regularly.
There are too many cowards in this country. That man never, ever would have spoken to another man his age like that. In fact one time a young man said something inappropriate to me and asked me what I was going to do about it - and I told him I would kill him with my bare hands. Listen, I'm a NYer and always had to fight back. No way I am going to let some young punk even think about intimidating me - because if you let them - they will not stop.
Then we are guilty of accepting aging as weakness and deterioration - old people must take tons of medication because aging equals sickness - this is a blatant lie and used to fill us with drugs - which in fact weakens us. In Korea as I made my way up the mountain men and women in their 70's and 80's would sprint by me.
And sorry this is long but one more thing so many of us are guilty of and it is those stupid idiotic jokes about growing old that make their rounds on the internet. I get these from friends and I ask them why do they accept these jokes about elderly people - jokes about forgetting, and false teeth, generally being doddering old fools and worse. What other country makes fun of its elders like this?
We have to effect change. I demand respect - and will not allow some idiot young punk to decide whether or not I am worthy. And I will not accept toxic drugs nor jokes about elders as if aging is a chronic disease.
By the way - in NYC - crimes against the elderly are so bad so widespread so epidemic - that they have been made felonies.
Good grief! Thanks for letting me vent.
Being a person who is headed toward "elderly" pretty quickly, I see this as a possible future problem, for a guy like that. It for me is simple I carry a gun 'cuz a cops to heavy. I'm licensed and legal and that guy can thank his lucky stars I was not present, I am trained in hand to hand but I'm getting old and can't stay too long so as stated above, I'd just kill him. He's one that's cruising for an education in mistaking kindness for weakness and sooner or later he'll run aground of a grumpy old man like me that has no time for the like of him and that has nothing to do with just me, I will go to bat for any person being mistreated, but especially the elderly, children, women, animals. Karma
9:00 a.m. Nursing home Journies.
Pale blue eyes watery with sentiment
parchment skin layered by times creases
old veins like blue ink tell a tale
up the arms and the legs of the frail
no longer circulating outside this place
they are clots that society slowly
is dissolving out of sight and mind
the sour stench of old urine and baby powder
mingles with the crooked smiles as you pass
row after row of chairs wheeled
but going nowhere strapped to a rail
but trained to remain with other straps
around the waist...the waste of years.
some carry bruises blamed on their clumsiness,
others are just left to moulder in their beds,
lying in bodily wastes and voracious bed sores
that feed on the flesh till it reaches the bone.
there is a glimmer of hope for them though,
those that escape the abuse have a refuge of sorts...
I am sure that these ancient souls
locked in wheelchairs all day
in nursing homes and rest homes
are never really truly there,
they are out running through
the memories of childhood again,
that surround them clear as spring water,
laughing and giggling in a bubble
of time that holds them in a rainbow
of fragile but endearing moments
playing hide and seek with reality
till death releases them from
the sweetness of yesteryear's anesthesia.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~MFB III
Great hub, it's so sad that people can act like that, it just seems to be happening all the time these days :(
LJ as far back as I can remember there have always been assholes in life, they are nicely named as one day they will be shit on from a great height !!!
Excellent blog and commentary on American society's loss of respect for our seniors!
People can turn into such jerk...I love the elderly and most just want some love too....they should get more and deserve more.
sad but true, They dont deserve it
Great Hub - I don't condone the attitude of the young man - I was brought up to respect people no matter how old - in fact he was in the wrong for leaving the line and expecting his position to be kept.
Part of the problem these days is that some ( a few) expect repsect but do not give it back...that also is wrong...
Having said that...it does not change my attitude..I will continue to respect!
great hub!
So sad. I couldn't watch the video all the way through, it's too disturbing but I'm glad that you brought this out into the open, LadyJane.
ladyjane1, this is a very sad, but necessary hub. I know the experience of the young creep, sorry, I mean man, is not the only reason for writing this hub, and I don't want to belabor the issue. However, the law of reciprocity, is at work here. What you give out is what you will get back, and most times worst than what you gave out. So sooner or later this person will get back what he gave out.
After watching the video, it makes me more aware of what we all must do. Don't stand by and let elders be abused. It's the same as with child abuse. There is a saying, "once a man, twice a child." So if we look at the elderly as being in their second childhood, not mentally of course, but physically in a lot of cases, then we'd be more apt to do all that we can to protect them. I applaud you for taking care of he senior the way that you did. Very good and useful hub, makes us think, as it should.
I feel It goes back to what you are taught when you are young; Years ago(when TV was a Kinder Gentle Place) Viewers were taught just by watching a movie elderly are to be respected; Now elderly are in the way..When I go into a nursing home it breaks my heart; to see all this wisdom and life experience going to waste because most young people don't want to be bothered. In many neighborhoods, the elderly are afraid to walk the streets because, some thug will knock then in the head and take their social security check that has to last them the whole month. Yes it really bothers me; Thank you for this article.
Hello ladyjane. I am sad reading this as I get sad whenever I hear people mistreat each other. It makes my heart ache inside. Thank you for writing this hub. When people start being concern then maybe we can start "healing" the world by healing within. The wounds we have within can make us retaliate and act in ways that are hurtful and painful. Anger is an indication that something is not quite right. Anyhow, your hub made me reflect how important it is to start young and I see how much responsibility we have as preschool teachers.
On a joyful note, I come to you today with a hopeful smile that things can get better if we all help make the world a better place! And it starts with love and giving boosts of energy. CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your hub is a HUBNUGGET WANNABE!!! Yeeehhaaaa! To see with your own eyes, click this link please: http://hubpages.com/_hubnuggets10/hub/Hubnuggets-h
Do vote and promote and share to your family and friends. Even non members can vote. :)
People ask, in situations like that one, what happened to this guy to make him this way, well that is a question I never bother to answer because there is no excuse for such behaviour.If that old lady had been my mother- his mother would have been doctoring his broken nose and busted ear drums - and she is a 'gentle' little old lady of 80 . Thanks ladyjane I like the way you express your beliefs and thoughts.
Congratulations for being an Hubnugget Wannabe Hubber. Well deserved though. Keep writing ladyjane. :)
You wrote a very good hub. It is a problem as I seem to see people getting angry at various places over just the littlest things. I was in a parking lot (speed limit 15 MPH) waiting to turn. The light changed in my favor and this young blond came wheeling through the red light going at least 35 or 40, gave me the one finger greeting and said, "What the F***. I don't know what is wrong with people that act like that but it certainly isn't how I was raised. Thanks goodness most of the people are thoughtful and they smile at you. It restores your faith in humanity.
Wonderful and disturbing at the same time. I believe as with many other social issues it is what you teach at home. I was ALWAYS taught to have great respect for my elders, I teach my children the same, hopefully they will pass it on to their children as well. Great Hub.
society is going backwards, isnt it? The love for the elders is based on respecting them, Thank you, Maita
LadyJane,
Honoring our elders is an important part of community. I think the challenges that this seemingly declining tradition faces are based on the fact that society has been increasingly focused on the individual instead of the community, and many individuals feel lost because of that and other factors. When someone doesn't have respect for themselves, they don't realize why they need to extend respect to others and to the world around them.
It's sad that these things happen, yet there is promise in the people who DO have respect, and realize how important each aspect and member of the world community really is.
Great hub, and congrats on your Hubnugget nomination!
I think part of the problem is that human life is no longer regarded as sacred, but is treated as property that can (or should) be discarded when it's deemed to be lacking quality. We even have people openly referring to other people as "burdens."
Society's fabric of empathy, sympathy, kindness, ethics and morality is ripping. Very slowly, but it is tearing apart. I have seen the elderly abused, not just from strangers but even from their own family. I don't understand completely, but what you have written is an issue that needs addressing. I believe that many "younger" generations have the attitude that the world owes them, and that they owe the world nothing. It's bad attitude which bring about unacceptable behavior. I always wonder what will happen when the roles become reversed and they are the ones in the elderly's shoes. Excellent hub LadyJane!
Awesome Hub! I wonder how he will feel one day when he gets old? We all do sooner or later! My Grandmother always said "One mother can care for 10 children. However, in today's society,10 children cannot care for one mother" She is so right! I am an older mom and my 9 and 3 year old are taught to value our elderly. Point blank Period!
I think it is since the break down of community from the 80's.. you should read my hub on the 60s generation being the first selfish generation.
Thanks for writing this one, the subject is close to my heartxx
I'm glad you brought out the real facts of life! There is always payback, and I guess they forget the fact, that if they are lucky, they will become old someday! You are suppose to stay with your cart. He was wrong in leaving his shopping cart to wonder off and look at other things. Today's society has run away from any manner. It is apparent that these people were not taught any manners. That old lady probably has kids and grandchildren, and if they had been there, there would have been a fight. We seem to have a world of low class nobodies, and a lot of hate that is going on in this country. If they were a christian, they would not behave in such a manner. REMEMBER THAT THERE IS ALWAYS A RETURN OF YOUR DEEDS! KEEP ON LIVING AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU FOR MISTREATING THE INNOCENT AND ELDERLY!
I was raised to have respect for my elders, but it seems that now with all the glam that is portrayed in being young; Americans truly have lost respect for the elderly. Hopefully, some how some of that respect will be brought back into our culture. Otherwise, people are not going to have those "golden years of wisdom" that my grandmother had. Congrats on being selected as a HubNugget Wannabe - Good Luck!
People have not learned empathy at home, as the Baby Boom generations numbers grew so has the lack of respect. I have a hub on this and about nursing homes being warehouses for elderly for corporations to get rich. Madness2010 (my hub) I like this hub.
This is a really great hub! My heart aches when I think of the coldness this man exhibited. How unhappy he must be. Not that his unhappiness condones his coldness in any way. I think that we are losing some of our social skills. People no longer go to see their neighbors, if they even talk to them it's e-mail or texting. TV portrays the elderly as a burden, not the blessing they are. People are losing the skill to interact on a personal level. I've taught my children respect for others, and I live the lessons I teach. I am very blessed in that my children seem to have learned these lessons. Sorry to ramble...and thanks for writing on this.
My mother, who suffered with rheumatoid arthritis in her later years, used to say how difficult it was to be older and not able to move well "because you feel exactly the same on the inside but can't do the things you'd like to do". People who are ignorant judge others by what they see "on the outside" while also being stupid enough to value what's on the outside so much they think appearing frail or elderly means being less of a person. Throw in an aggressive, mean, nature that acts on that ignorance/stupidity - and you've got the kind of mistreatment, or at least lack of respect, that goes on.
This is modern era. The era in technology, so younger person has many choice in this era. They more concern in technology but forget the society around them. They forget their role as a social human being. So they forget that there is an elder to respect. As a teacher I really sad to hear about that. So as a teacher between the lesson, I always give a little advice to my student to always respect the elder. I rate this hub. thanks
Older people used to tell stories to their grandchildren. Now those same children watch TV. The Elerly have their problems. Most do not want to talk and share. I once talk to a large group of older men in a gardening club. I asked them for their gardening advice, and to write it down to share their experiences with the next generation. None did.
Much is lost, family stories, recipes, words of wisdom, and the like for the current generation to discover and mess up.
ladyjane all I gotta say is wow ! I wholeheartedly agree with your assessment here . I too revere our Seniors. And you are definitely not out of line when you say as generations go by we respect our seniors less. In particular here in America we have a culture that exclusively celebrates youth. That's why we go to the gym and try to eat right etc. etc. . Because all of us are really motivated to try and stay a perpetual 22. I for one am one of these hokey and corny Boy Scout types who helps little old ladies put their groceries in their cars and tries to help out any way I can. But we are taught youth is King and that being old is nothing more then a bad social stigma. Our media and culture foster this belief system incessantly.
And to MFB III Father time will have his way with you. And karma is a bitch !
Excellent hub !
The sad reality is that there will always be people in this world—everywhere in this world might I add in regards to hynodude's disparaging comment about the 'west,' and might I add as well that the middle east is part of the east and full of bad people—who simply don't give a damn about others. Be them older people, younger people, middle of the road people, whatever. Some people simply have so much focus on their own lives, their own time, their own needs, that often times they forget that others have a similiar set of such concerns.
I make it a point to not be like that. I'm one guy and I can't change the world. Even still, one of those 'assholes' that tattoo guy rightly referred to will be on the receiving end of my holding a door open, or will have 5 items to my 25 and get to jump ahead of me and see the good in it. Maybe.
whew! it's all true and so sad. the media promotes youth as if it is the only age in life. cameras in nursing homes would cut down on that. but the homes don't want them, because it's proof. the elderly are so quiet. whenever they complain about abuse, someone discounts them quickly by saying their old, which means they have no say about anything. we are all heading there and we have the power now to make the change. who is willing? great hub!
Well, I would like to think that complete idiot is the exception. I think for the most part, the elderly are treated with respect. I've never seen anything like that, especially to someone who is visibly frail. That guy has heavy anger management issues.
I mighta had a word or two with that kid at the store myself !
A very powerful hub and so well written. Thanks for writing and bringing attention to this very serious matter. My heart goes out to the elderly community especially to those residing in nursing homes.
Congratulation on your nomination to HubNuggets!
Sage
The world is changing and it is changing not for the better but for the worse and the degeneration is continuing...
I see even worse in the grocery store, when a middle-aged son or daughter of an elderly person is impatient with the parent, obviously not pleased with helping Mom or Dad, and looking around at the others in line for sympathy, see what I have to put up with, and aren't I wonderful to do this? I feel so sorry for the parent.
Wonderful hub. It is horrible the way the elderly are treated. We will all be old someday and it is scary as to how we all may be treated.
Wonderful Hub!!!!
The hub shows the crystal clear picture of the current society. The elders are neglected and they do not get their due respect and recognition. Children now days do not give much heed to their elderly parents. The hub rightly point out these matter in very sensible manner. I hope this hub will create great positive movement in this regard. Thanks a lot for sharing so relevant information.
Keep on Hubbing
"He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you, but to do justice, to love mercy and walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8
There is a pervading lack of of all of the above in respects to all of creation. Mistreatment of elderly, children animals even our land. I, like you, especially hate the mistreatment of the elderly or children because they are so vulnerable. If there is no mercy or humilty before God, then how can there be justice or a sense of doing the right thing. thanks for bringing this to the surface for your readers. It only takes a spark to ignite a flame - maybe you have sparked an initiative to bring that respect back.
I am honestly disgusted with society, and have been for awhile now. These days, everybody seems to have some sort of chip on their shoulder, and it absolutely blows my mind. I'm thinking a lot of it has to do with attention, and the other half has to do with media and television.
You're welcome! :)
Congratulations on another great hub!
I started writing a comment to this hub that turned into a very long-winded rant! So rather than bore you all I’ll get right to the point of what I think I was trying to say.
Which generation died in foreign fields years ago to protect us?
And which generation is dying in a foreign field today to protect us?
There is a lot of disrespect in society today – but it goes both ways. Remember, there has always been, and will always be bad/evil people. And there has always been, and will always be good people. We just seem to have forgotten how to deal with one, and recognise the other.
In days gone by, the man you talk about in the article would have been refused service. Today his money is just as good as the old lady’s.
Don’t blame the young for growing up in the society that guides and teaches them. And don’t always blame the young!
[I can feel this tuning into a rant again – so I’ll stop now. Great hub by the way.]
Great Hub -- as a senior citizen I can testify age is not the barometer of ignorance. I, too, remember when the elderly were honored and respected. Folks who were raised being taught those values still retain them -- those who were not have little respect for anybody or anything. Not being able to identify who's who -- I'm armed. Better to be judged by 12 than carried by six! Great Hub and very timely. Best, Sis
Hello LadyJane! Congrats on your Hubnugget nomination and for presenting an important well presented Hub! There have been so many wise comments, all I can possibly add is a bit of advice to anyone who plans on becoming an old person :)
Become active now in supporting "Gray Power" organizations and forward thinking companies who are developing life- enriching communities for the elderly.
Thanks for a wonderful read!
I don't think the guy at the store was the best example. His cart placement suggested he was pretty self oriented in the first place. Still I know what you mean. I was actually having this conversation with an older gentleman. He believes the media generally paints the elderly as feeble and worthless, and since so many are raised by the television the result is a population of folks who think of the elderly as nothing. I personally think part of the problem is individualism. When you think that you are some how entitled to more than others, then you stop respecting people in general. It might have helped this guy get it, if another customer had said something to him. Although he is technically an adult, he obviously needed more guidance.
Brilliant hub, cruety to children, the elderly and animals are just the most evil things in the world. Great writing
Well, ladyjane1 ...
Let me begin by saying that no cultural trait fosters this kind of behavior. Probably that lost soul(Whose attitude I am totally disapproving)Has never stop to think that he will be and elderly sometime ahead. This is not only sheer ignorance it is also an ill-educated individual and someone whose values are rather selfish and poor. Be sure of something: He will remember that old lady when life strikes back at him, by then his regret will be useless. Don´t worry, there are more good people than evil in this world, simply, good people are low profilers, evil ones are not.
warm regards and blessings,
Al
Unfortunately, humans as a whole are becomming more and more about making sure they get theirs. Its not just this guy and its not just the elderly that are suffering, there are still good people in this world but disrespect is becoming more and more prevalent. People are so busy looking out for themselves and feeling victimized by everyone else. I think the total focus on PC has gotten so out of hand that it is like a set of rules and no one is using their heads any longer. When I would walk by a group of older teens or early 20s with my young daughter they no longer stop speaking vulgarly or at least apologize they just keep right on going why because it is their right to do so and they will do whatever they dang well please. Yes it is your right however you have a moral obligation to be courtious to others and we are losing that.Its all about Im gonna get mine! So the more we talk about not offending anyone the more offensive we have become. I'm a smoker but just because I smoke does not mean I am going to blow it in your face or your childs face, because I have the right to smoke. I am very concious of where people are when I smoke, because I made the choice to smoke they did not and their children certainly do not deserve it. We are no longer being taught to be civil or to really to respect anyone. As parents we have to not only tell our children to have respect we have to also show them what that means and all you have to do is look around and you will see too many parents disrespecting their children and others around them while at the very same time telling their children to have respect. Not gonna work.
Excellent subject and a great hub. Clearly this loser was brought up by wolves who never taught him how to behave or to respect anyone. Our culture is woefully lacking when it comes to the treatment of the elderly. I went with a friend to look into nursing homes for her father and I was appalled at the treatment that I witnessed. I seriously almost lost my mind. This is a travesty.
I have a special place in my heart for old people and I think it's disgusting the way they are treated sometimes. I do get to see the way some people are very respectful, even these days, which makes me feel like elderly people are still respected by many people.
thanks for writing on such an important topic. it tears my heart out when I read or hear this kind of abuse. the woman probably couldn't even hear him. my respect for elderly people grew so much as my parents reached those years. we were always taught to respect elders, but often people just don't understand what they go through.
I think much of what has been shared here is so true in so far as cultural differences and respect for the elderly.
I think it's so sad and pathetic that there is so much attention given to beauty and celebrities in the US. as people age and lose some of their vitality and physical beauty, people look at them differently instead of realizing they may be very lonely, afraid, unable to respond as normally as before. They carry within so much life and wisdom, and sadly some grow into bitter elderly people. Bitterness and disrespect start much earlier in life and is a sad blemish on a nation. great writing and thanks for sharing. :)
just watched the video... thank you for including this powerful song and video here.
I view this hub as an advocacy voice for the elderly in society. Great hub! Indeed, in the cities, even in Asia where love and respect for the elderly is part of our culture, the respect and love for the elderly is not as deep as 40 years ago. The youth cult as idealized in the multimedia is contributory to this, I believe. We are doing something about this in our community organizing work.
I think, if we have to judge society, any society for that matter, we can judge it by the way it treats the most vulnerable people and other creatures - the children and the elderly and Mother Nature, in general.
my heart is broken when i see people treat others so badly ,,,,,,,,,,,, old people are beautiful people, we should be glad to have them around treasure them, for their last few years on this earth,
Okay. I just want to say one thing up front. I am not trying to say that there is anything wrong with American Culture, I am just laying out what is different in mine where the elderly are treated with great respect.
I was born and raised in New Delhi, India till I was 18 and came to the US for college. One thing I realized is that family relationship dynamics are extremely different here. Parents ask their children to leave once they turn 18, or they are expected to leave their homes when they turn 18. Furthermore, I have noticed that a sizable chunk of the population fends for itself financially and make it on their own, which I think is commendable.
That is not the case in India. Although legally adults at 18, people are still children at that age in terms of financial independence. That does not come till graduating college at 22. Also, the family system is joint family as opposed to nuclear families. Joint meaning the children live with their parents. Here, if you're living with your parents at 30, you're considered a loser. In India, it is how things are. I am sure that most Americans would find that arrangement hard to comprehend and, frankly, I understand that because I feel the same about the setup here. So, once an American is 18, he moves out on his own and does not live with any elderly figure for the rest of his/her life. And not living translates to hardly any interactions in personal lives.
Also, interaction in the American culture is on a first name basis regardless of the age factor. And the English language when compared to Hindi, offers lesser respect. For example, in Hindi there are two ways to say you-'aap' and 'tum'. The former is used when speaking to some one older to you and the latter while speaking to a counterpart or someone younger. So the language itself is designed to respect the elderly.
The Indian calendar is filled with traditional ceremonies. In all these ceremonies, the family gets together and most often, in fact always, the eldest in the family leads the way.
So, I think it is a combined effect of all of these. Delete a few of these things from the Indian culture, and I think I would find it hard to respect the elderly too.
ladyjane - Glad to revisit this very powerful hub and Congratulations! on being nominated for a HubNugget. You deserve it.
Sage
The fact that old people are old, does not preclude them being complete jackasses. We assume that young people can be stupid, arrogant, disrespectful jerks-- see your own description for an example-- but for some reason the elderly are never described that way. Old idiots are just young idiots who managed to breathe and eat long enough to become old.
This particular old lady could have, and should have, spoken up for herself. The other people in line could have, and should have, spoken up for her if she was not able to do so. The "jerk" may have just misunderstood social protocol, or interpreted it differently. Did anyone even try to reason with him and explain to him what was causing his aggravation? "I cannot believe this shit" obviously means that he does not understand what's happening and why, and he believes that he is in the right for whatever reason. He thought this old lady, probably through a sense of entitlement granted by people like yourself, just cut in line in front of him because most people let them.
I feel sad for humanity. You anonymously rag on the Internet about the man who, while possibly mistaken, stood up for what he believed were his rights. He, while possibly rudely, tried to ask this lady what she was doing. She, very rudely, ignored him and thereby fueled his outrage even more. You, being a cowardly weakling, did not even try to defuse or correct the situation, leaving both the "jerk" and the old lady feeling like some great injustice just happened instead of a misunderstanding. I feel sad for humanity.
While it is true that sometimes people not so intelligent becomes old remaining not so intelligent, and while it is also true that some people of all ages takes everything for granted and that everything is due to them, my mum taught me the meaning of Respect. This is to be given to everyone, younger, older, same age, whatever. And Respect goes hand in hand with being Polite.
Maybe I come from another planet, but I'm not able to treat someone older than me like a compeer, unless permission is given. If people could be always able to stand for themselves then we would have no "jerks" going around because they would be kicked on their butt any time they raise their heads, and I'm not saying that the world wouldn't be a better place. Anyhow, unless we want to live like animals who throw away old members we have to protect older people from "jerks" and similar beings; first because they did it for us, second because if these days a lot of "young" people live well is thanks to the efforts, and battles, and blood of those who now are old; and third because luckily one day we'll be old too.
The boy described above is used as an example of how people these days too often mistreats older people. I just hope to arrive old enough to see what kind of harvest the younger generation will get living and behaving in this way; I'm pretty sure the number of old people will decrease, becoming old requires not only health and luck, but also a good amount of intelligence. Too many video games and TV probably.
And btw Tim, if you only took the time to read more about ladyjane your comment would have been pretty different, but, when You will be old it will be interesting to know if you will remain of the same opinion. :)
It's a pleasure. But I would leave these comments, as a matter of fact it demonstrates you are right thus reinforcing the reliability of your hub. ;)
Im with hypnodude... however, we have lost community (this sort of thing is happening in the UK too) and if you dont mix a society this leads to a lack of understanding. We all live in our own realities and if there is no communication of what times were and how we have arrived at now, then there is no understanding.
The sacrifices older people have endured so as we can be free must not be forgotten. Unfortunately, elderly people have been gagged by society. They no longer have a voice and if you dont have a voice you will not be heard.
Poverty encourages communication - groups learn to survive by helping each other. Older people are looked after, they are a resource of experience, wisdom and expertise. Most of the rest of the world have community because everyone is truly integrated... India, Ethopia, Egypt for example.
Whenever you see pockets, even in the western world, where you have communities who depend on each other for survival, you see respect for older people. They are necessary to enhance the quality of our lives.
Thanks for writing this experience x
I remember one movie about America's teacher of the year and he said (I don't remember the exact words), "...obnoxious characters are actually a cry for help." There is a real need to educate the young people and if you're with me there's a need also for teachers to teach this. Many teachers, sad to say, had failed or stopped teaching about that virtuous word "respect".
Oh yeah, I thought I recognize the title of this hub. I've commented once, however, wanted to say congrats on being selected as a Hubnuggets Wannabe and good luck to ya! :)
Wow, I wish I could say I can't believe how rude that guy was, but I can. I always have extra patience for the elderly, because I think of my Grandpa and hope that people are patient with him. It makes me sad to hear stories like this one.
Congrats on your hubnugget nomination. ;)
I admit it. I have absolutely no respect for the elderly. They are as corrupt, vile, misguided, and deluded as any of us can be. The only difference is that they have been at it for a few decades longer. There is no fool like an old fool. We have an old neighbor who sits around in front of his garage in loose boxer shorts all summer while drinking. He cusses at the kids who walk by his house. I suppose you expect me to respect and honor him, too?
The elderly of my era, my parent's generation, tolerated overt racism. The elders before them had to be forced into giving women the right to vote. The elders before them pushed the Native American off his lands. Those same elders tolerated slavery. It took a mighty force of will that few of them possessed to alter the course of things. Most folks just play along and the elderly of today were just the followers of yesterday, doing what came easiest at the time.
I also see many elderly Americans living off Social Security and Medicare while complaining that government intervenes too much in their lives! Seems so many of them don't want their children of grandchildren to have the same safety nets they did. They left us a polluted and filthy planet, as well. In the US Senate we have any number of aging legislators determined to stop health care reform and encourage sending younger men and women into useless wars.
Age is just a number. That's all. The fact that a human being manages to survive over a protracted chronological period tells me a bit about his/her biology and good luck, but about character or accomplishment.
Someday, I hope to be that annoying, obtuse old man who goes grocery shopping at 5:00pm and spends 20 minutes arguing with the cashier over a can of Lima beans while working folks are just trying to get home after a long day of work.
I admit it. I have absolutely no respect for the elderly. They are as corrupt, vile, misguided, and deluded as any of us can be. The only difference is that they have been at it for a few decades longer. There is no fool like an old fool. We have an old neighbor who sits around in front of his garage in loose boxer shorts all summer while drinking. He cusses at the kids who walk by his house. I suppose you expect me to respect and honor him, too?
The elderly of my era, my parent's generation, tolerated overt racism. The elders before them had to be forced into giving women the right to vote. The elders before them pushed the Native American off his lands. Those same elders tolerated slavery. It took a mighty force of will that few of them possessed to alter the course of things. Most folks just play along and the elderly of today were just the followers of yesterday, doing what came easiest at the time.
I also see many elderly Americans living off Social Security and Medicare while complaining that government intervenes too much in their lives! Seems so many of them don't want their children of grandchildren to have the same safety nets they did. They left us a polluted and filthy planet, as well. In the US Senate we have any number of aging legislators determined to stop health care reform and encourage sending younger men and women into useless wars.
Age is just a number. That's all. The fact that a human being manages to survive over a protracted chronological period tells me a bit about his/her biology and good luck, but about character or accomplishment.
Someday, I hope to be that annoying, obtuse old man who goes grocery shopping at 5:00pm and spends 20 minutes arguing with the cashier over a can of Lima beans while working folks are just trying to get home after a long day of work.
My sis is a writer i am so proud of you.
"Someday, I hope to be that annoying, obtuse old man..."
Just keep thinking as you do Shlomo; you're well on the way to achieving your goal !
People should not have to live in misery just because they are old. It is true, that the ignorant people like that man in the grocery store also get old but with an attitude like his, he might not make it to being a senior citizen.
It is also true that there are a lot of nasty old people but then these are the same ones who were nasty when they were young. There are more good young people than bad and they remain good when they are old. Old people are not another species.
This is a good hub and the answers prove that there are many good people who have the proper ideals. Thank you for writing it.
I think the gist of the problem is that society has change over the last fifty odd years, and not necessarily for the better.
I know that after the next sentence the eyes of most people under thirty will be rolling skywards with the thought of; “here we go again...” coming to mind, however, I shall say it anyway.
When I was a kid we were taught respect for our elders and betters and more often than not the lesson was a hard one. We had respect for authority, no kid in their right mind would run home and report to his father that he had received a clip round the ear from the local policeman for fear of receiving a second one because you had obviously deserved the first one and so brought shame upon the family.
I know it’s an old fashioned notion but in those far off times people naturally knew their place in society and were proud of it. To have a trade, any trade, was cause for pride and you strove to be best within that trade, that gave you the respect from your peers.
In my view Two world wars started the change, not the revolution raved about in the sixties, although that was part of the decline.
The First World War was supposed to be the war to end all wars, full of promises of better times for those that returned. B, of course it wasn’t depression lack of decent work and starvation saw to that. However, those that did return home tried desperately to return to their previous lives and jobs.
After the second World War the memory of the first war was still alive in the minds of many and when those returned they were far from content just to go back to the old ways and demanded change. Women too were at the forefront of a lot of this discontentment. During the first war many women found their first taste of freedom from the domestic yoke by taking on and doing the jobs of the men off fighting. The fact that they were doing the work as well as men was ignored when the men came home and the women were forced back to the home and kitchen.
During the second war many women were in the armed forces, not necessarily fighting on the front lines but doing many vital jobs and freeing the men. After the conflict many women had found a new found confidence and freedom that they were not about to give up.
So change was inevitable. Together with the rapid industrialisation, improved transportation the cohesion of the community was the first to go then the family group.
In many respects we are the children of that change, our parents and grandparents wanted something better for us, they worked and fought hard to give us that better something. However without a sense of the past do we understand what they have given us ? Do we appreciate it or just demand it as our right ? We certainly don’t respect it , if we did we wouldn’t be abusing it as badly as we are doing and that, I’m afraid, also includes our treatment of the elderly.
I like the saying "Karma is a bitch." Isn't it more like "Life is a bitch and then you die"? I agree that the young guy probably should have let the old woman "cut in" but perhaps she could have backed off as well, for she may have transgressed in the slightest way. Respect always works both ways, young or old, and I'm speaking as an old guy, though I'm way under 75. Keep writing. Later!
We are taught to fear death and worship eternal youth. Why else would plastic surgery, vampires and elves be the new sensation with our pop culture? After all, Twilight, Lord of the Rings and Michael Jackson are certainly top sellers these days. I credit three things with this shift:
1. Our pop culture idolizes anyone who looks "beautiful" in the traditional sense. Aging or even adult beauty is often put aside for the young, budding, 16-year-old blush of youth. A model has to consider retiring by my age (25).
2. Death and aging is easier and easier to avoid. Our mobile society means that after high school, we take off to college where we are surrounded by other youthful, "beautiful" people. These people are the "educated" ones, who know best and who will "shape the future" with their power and skill. Then we take off for a job full of young, ambitious, shallow people like ourselves, far away from the parents and grandparents who raised us.
3. Technology fosters the idea of powerful youth, because our young constantly master technology more quickly than the older population. This ability allows the young to assume they know more and have more power over communication, commerce and information than their elders. They see older people struggle with what comes naturally to them and they assume that older people are stupid, slow or backwards. Finally, they often use that ability to prey upon these older people, further dehumanizing and separating themselves from them.
Compounding all of this is the culture that tells them high school is the "best years of your life" and video games that give instant gratification instead of demanding hard work. Ambition is dead, momentary pleasure is paramount, and the older generation, which has lived long enough to find these ideals repugnant, are just "out of touch" and "useless."
This is an excellent and needful article. Thank you for publishing this piece. I think that the American ethic went out the door with the teaching of multi-culturalism, the removal of God from public life, and abortion rights. In the case of the former, we used to teach youngsters American ethics, and civics. It was decided somewhere that this was a plot to create conformity and so done away with in favor of the idea that ANY culture (which includes ethics) is just as good as any other--hence the rise of Ghetto Culture (for just one). Tied to this is the Relativism taught now in the place of Objective Truths. The removal of God from schools means that no longer are children taught that each individual is made in God's Image--No. Each person is merely an ape with thumbs. What is so respectable about that? Lastly, Abortion has taught generations that life is not sacred if it is not convenient. Old people are decidedly not convenient.
Thank you, LadyJane, for calling attention to a horrible horrible turn in American society. I hope this hub reaches all of America :)
Blessings,
Leslie
If someone steps out of line then they are out of line and the line moves on. The young man in the example had no right to complain when the line moved on with out him.
Alot of the problems with our society in general could be solved with the proper use of common sense and manners.
My Mom is blind and uses a cane when out walking, one day she was crossing a main road here in Fairbanks when she was half way across the intersection the walk light changed, as they do to everyone who walks, as soon as the light changed a man in a car right next to her started blaring his horn at her. I told her she should have taken her cane and beat the crap out of his car with it.
The next incident that happened to her was in the Pikes Place Market in Seattle, again she was walking with her cane, everyone walks in Pikes Place, no vehicles allowed. Well, anyway she was walking along the sidewalk and a teenage boy on a skateboard whizzed past from behind, bumping into her and nearly knocking her over. After bumping into her he screamed at her that SHE needed to watch where she was going.
Here in Alaska I fell on the ice in a store parking lot when I was pregnant with one of my children. Because of that fall I had Braxton Hicks and ended up in the hospital for 3 days. After that whenever I was pregnant in the winter I would park in a handicapped space because the stores didn't clean the ice off of the parking lots. When ever anyone said anything about it to me I asked them if they'd like to pay my hospital bill if I fell again. I didn't sue the store whose parking lot I fell in I only demanded that they use common sense about the parking situation.
When I'm out and about I don't care if someone is male, or female, young, or old, if they have an armload and can't open a door I get it for them. If I see a pregnant woman or an elder standing I offer them my seat.If I see someone who is short trying to reach an item that's placed to high I offer to get it down for them. My children behave in the same way.
When we moved down to the States people in the town where we lived took these things as a sign of weakness, one day at work I had a cowboy threaten to beat me because I didn't give him his grocery order immediately. I jumped over the counter got up in his face and told him I knew his Mama and I knew she raised him better than that. He threatened to go to my superior and file a complaint, I looked at everyone around the deli and asked them who threatened whom? They all pointed at him.
This was a kid that I fed lunch to in my home for two years while he was in high school, he and a large group of kids would come to my house with my daughter for lunch everyday. These were kids whose parents made to much money to be on the hot lunch program but couldn't afford to feed thier kids. His action wasn't caused by a lack of respect in me, but a lack of respect in himself, and his family, because he remembered being to poor for a basic need (food) and that I was the one that provided it.
When I left my husband that's exactly the situation we were in but not one single person my children and I helped before stepped up to help us. There was no reciprocity(sp) of any kind, this was most down-heartening for us. Especially when they DEMANDED more help from us when we were living pay check to pay check ourselves. When we had no more to give we were treated like outcasts by most of that town.
None of those situations had much of anything to do with respect, but a little common sense, consideration, and good manners, could have gone a very long way. As it is I left that town as soon as I could afford to, just like so many others have it's very quickly turning into the ghost town it deserves to be.
That might be part of the solution right there. People need to start stepping up and saying "I'm a human being and deserve to be treated like one."
Well - here am I - among the elderly, more than the lady in the grocery line who was rudely treated. I don't experience disrespect, to be totally honest, unless getting hit on by whippersnappers counts as disrespect.
But I do genuinely regret that some of my peers do suffer disrespect and even abuse. However it is symptomatic of a whole generational malady. Kids shoot their classmates for trivial reasons. This was totally unthought of in the past, let alone done - and frequently as it is now.
Many kinds of disrespect seem to overshadow the kind people who still remember how to be considerate and teach their children to be civilized. But a generation of barbarians will behave accordingly, and that is what we are seeing now. The chickens have started to come home to roost.
If improvement is to happen, people must once agan be given examples and taught to be humane from birth. Mass childcare can't replace timely parental guidance in these matters. Major changes are needed or society crumbles. It's imperative.
Thanks for a good hub, ladyjane. I hope it stirs action! However, returning barbarism with barbarism is not the effective action needed.
What a timely hub. I am overwhelmed by the support given here and the understanding that not one of us is perfect. We are merely human beings going through a transition of life's circle from the cradle to the grave. Throughout time there has always been respect given and shown to the elders. It's riddled throughout our history books. Man's inhumanity to man will not stop because we are in the 21st century.
Change has to come from within and that only happens by being taught at a very early age to be kind,loving and caring to people of all ages. Sure I don't condone people pushing in front of people, acting rude and mean to each other. But it seems that if your a geek, nerd, ugly, poorly dressed, poor, homeless, a person of color, some one down on their luck and so much more, then you are prayed upon by the vultures of society.Is it right to injure the elderly, of course it isn't but unfortunately until people take a stand against abuse and violence, it will continue to plague us all. Yes it's sad when it comes down to thinking of carrying a gun and blowing someone away for simply moving to the front of the line, that's very base. But fear is being put into many people's hearts and minds and they are willing to kill someone because they to are fearful that it could be them next. Peace is the answer, but unfortunately that is not going to happen, we are on a social decline in our world and time is not on our side. I pray that our world will find peace and humanity soon before it's to late. The clock is ticking and it's the tick of a time bomb. Great hub, you sure raised some questions about our humanity. God bless the elderly, and God bless tolerance and forgiveness, we didn't ask to grow old, but please treat us with humility, patience and love, we were young once to.
All i have to say on this matter is..The young of today should remember that they are the 'old 'of tomorrow..one day they will be standing in lines waiting to be served,waiting in bus queues hoping someone will help them onto the bus or at least offer to put their bag on for them,hoping the shop door isnt going to shut before tey get there meaning a struggle to open it,need i go on ?
My warning to the young disrespectfull of todays society would be,respect the elderly of this world,they faught in 2 wars to give you a life ,one day you will be old how will you feel if nobody gives you the respect you deserve ?
I think it is because we dropped religion education from our schools
Kid these days are not in awe of anyone or anything..there is little or no disciplin anymore when I was a kid (many years ago) the police,the vicar and most of all your parents were respected and woe betide you if you did anything wrong..not now though,respect and disciplin seem to be a thing of the past.
Times have changed so drastically from the time of my youth. When I was young, I never thought about getting old. On the other hand I never, ever thought about showing disrespect to anyone older than I was. I believe it is the training one receives at home and what is permitted in society, these things with a strong helping of selfishness make for a rude unthinking person. As you said, every young person is not this way, because everytime it seems I feel down about today's young people, I meet one or two that are so courteous and respectful. Very good hub.
This is not the America it use to be. There was a time this country did believe in God and the values taught by the bible were taught to citizens but no more, we just open the flood gates and say, people do whatever the heck you want.
People really do have to be taught how to be good because it really does just come naturally.
I was contemplating about the concept "respect for the elderly", and surfing the Internet out of curiosity when I came up on this page. What are the reasons behind the concept? Why should the elderly be treated with extra respect just because they're old? The simplest explanation could be, in my opinion, that getting older and weaker as life goes on is not the elderly's fault but a rule of life, and thus we should respect and protect them as an expression of mere humane sense of fairness. But on the other hand, everyone gets old, and since 'everyone' van be any person, being old doesn't automatically mean being otherwise respectable. If an elderly doesn't act respectable should we overlook it just because they're old? I mean, in this story, for example, why did the old lady get in front of him really? AND why did she kept ignoring him if she heard him asking her about it?? Honestly, I would be frustrated too. I do things like giving up my seat on the bus for the elderly just because they're old. But I don't they have to act disrespectful of others just because they're old.
Hello, well as a "young dude" myself, I can say society does treat them pretty much as invisibles. The problem with the kids is the idea that old people = Not cool. That whole thing.
You get these young hip companies making ads on TV showing Betty White being snazzy and all that, and it's like kids say, see now that's the way I like old people to be.
Society is just getting too fast. It's become like a business, where they no longer care about feelings, just the bottom line.
Let's start caring about feelings again.
You know what we need?
Another hit by some young band with Tony Bennett. That'll get the train rollin.
It has been said that there is no bad youth
Only bad leaders. And it is true.
Children are the product of the society they live in. The parents abdicated their duties to educate their children. They let their government educate their children true the school system. Then they are to busy to spend time with their kids. They don't realise the kids nead mom and dad, the cat, hot chocolate, playing in the snow, camping with mom and dad and learning how to be nice to each other, because we are a family and wer care.
they did not pass down family values, human valuses, kindness as a value to make a more pleasant society to live in. They accepted new values that are detrimental to family life. No marriage, kids out of wed luck, irresponsible sex. No ideal. ( If you don't have that you will do squat in life. )
The family is dying in America. Soon family life will be exceptional event.
If you don't have the right relationship with your kids, where you nurture, guide, give a good example of kindnes, community friendship,create a welcoming home. A home is not a building. It's the place where the people you care about live. And do have expectations and basic moral values. If you have none, you have none to give, and your kids won't have any and you will eventually be the old fuck at the wrong end of the stick!
Life is not about things. It's about people. Get the right people together and you won't lack important things. And what are they, those things? Necessities,relationship, the possibility to fulfil your creative self.
It's not rocket science! Get a brain, people, and use it for the greater good.
Respect. Wow! What a big word. And what does it mean? Serously, that word has been used in such a maner that it mans something different than it should.
There can be no respect, it you have no consideration for the person in front of you.
People are mistaking submission for respect. I did see this in school wiith school personnel. They want submission, not respect. Sorry but you won't get submission from the really smart people and the bold ones.You won't get it from the wimps, and there is alot of those. Many pretend to be submissive, but they dispise those who demand submission. They simply quickly learn to be good hypocrites. What an education system. And it teaches nothing. When you have an average of 58% to 60% failure to graduate high school in the country, is there anything worth respecting in the school system? I think not.
The Bullying is learned in school. The disrespectful behaviour is learned from other kids and from the teachers. Oh.... Ya.
You respect what you admire, You respect what you want to emulate, you respect people who show you kindness, support, and a model to emulate. There is not much to emulate in our schools, in our leaders, in everything else.
Kids learn from what they see, and who do they look up to? Adults! It's monkey see, monkey do.
And then you have to tell them what is right and why. Oh... You mean, you mean...we have to explain what to do, what not to do, we have to tell them that being mean is not the right thing to do? But it's so much fun to see "Johnny" beat up little Luc, the third nabour when they get off the school bus...
Well, yes it's sick but that's what you've got to work with. It starts early folks. And it goes on. Then it's Oh, look at this! The old guy over there! Shit! He's slow! If only I could be less of a wimp boy would I send him rolling in the trafic with his wheel chair. Not very nice.
Then it's Nursing home personnel who give the old geezer all kind of hurtfull treament from neglect to down right physical injuries. It sucks! I know. And this is the worse kind of abuse that goes on in those places. So if you have relatives in those places, go visit them. If you find anything suspicious, report it. Where? Physical injuries, or dehidration, (An elderly can die from this) , or starvation beause of lack of care, retaining pain medication, serious mismanagement of medication, all this can make a good police report.
Get involve.
The bond between the elderly and their adult children is to seek, or non existant. But the real reason is the wrong values are the ones passed down. Adults give wrong behavious to emulate.
Ask an adult what his moral values are. Be patient. It's going to take a while. The adult has to think real hard to find some.
I found out they want to promote euthanasia of the sick and old people, now. They have a cute euphemism for it. They call it the right to die. Sorry to kill your fun,but that so called right, you already have it. In fact, you cannot decide to live forever. Won't work. Your body mechanics does not work like that. In fact, there comes a time when it stops on it's own.
And quite a few people in the medical peronnel are in favor of this euthanasia thing. I said to that nurse: " Fine, we will know exactly what to do with you when you will become sick. You should have seen the long face the instantly put on. She did not think euthanasia would apply to her! Ha! People are soooo.... stupid. They don't think further then their ass.
When people have a hard time to be nice with their own family members, respect for strangers will soon be out the door.
I got onto my computer and googled “why Americans are rude towards the elderly” and I’m glad I got through to this website.
I just got a cultural shock few minutes ago. I was at Rite Aid and I let this 75 year lady in front of me who was breathing heavily slowly moving her groceries. This guy behind me started shouting that his baby was hungry why I thought I had the right to let someone in front thus deciding for the entire line. I asked him to go ahead of me, he didn't want to because he thought he didn’t have the make a decision that will affect the people who were behind him. While I understand his concern and respect for the people behind the line, I just couldn't believe all that rudeness. Oh, and I forgot to mention, I turned to people behind asked if they minded me letting the old leady go before me (there’s me expecting rolling eyes like just let him go, he’s a jackass) they all said, well she should've joined the line just like everybody else. I shook my head in disbelief. What has become of this place? My first encounter with what I've been warned as 'rude New Yorkers'. I come from Southeast Europe and we respect the elderly (well most of the people do) so after witnessing this tonight, I left the shop literally shaking. I shouldn't say this, but I really do hope that guy grows one lonely old man because I doubt his son will be raised with proper values and manners to be there for him to show love and affection.
I’m glad there are so many people out there who feel the same way as I do that children and the elderly need our support and care.
Just another sign of the times we live in, our society used to value family above all else. Now it seems we have become a society that values money and the material thing that it will buy. Our kids are raised by day care centers while both parents work to make the boat and huge house payments. Parents just don't have the time to teach kids empathy for the elderly and animals as well. Kids are cuddled more than ever before and taught from an early age that their are no consequences for bad behavior. Strong discipline and spanking is no taboo and we are living with the results of our actions. When I grew up if I would ever sass anyone elderly it was met with a quick slap across the mouth. I learned to respect authority from an early age.
There was film on 60 Minutes once where baby elephants were raised with no bull elephants in their herd because poachers killed them for their tusks. When they grew up and became juveniles, they carried on, wrecked havoc, and became a terror to the rest of the herd. It was not until a new bull elephant was introduced back into the herd did they quickly calm down and mellow out. Why? Because the Bull elephant did not put up with them and quickly put them in their place.
As humans we can learn something from the elephants, cuddling only works so far and at some point we need to assert authority and teach our children lack of respect for others is not an option.
I think we have each generation not respecting anything, even themselves. The Boom generation has a large number, so hence less respect. But I don't believe many people respect much these days.
Ladyjane , Gretings , I have been in homes and around people that just plain have no manners or respect for anyone, Sounds like you were raised , as I was , in the old school . It really bothers me to see this as I believe that its where we are all going wrong. Manners , ethics , good character traits are on the way out in our culture. I may have lost it on this kid or man in the store , maybe thats what they need. Respect for the elderly was just a plain given in our day, but today its in decline. I "Jokingly,tell my wife , we need a cleansing in America , A plague , a meteor strike or something. But we need it bad.....Great hub.
Woah, that is certainly a sad story...Don't want to sound wimpy, but my eyes got a little watery.
I don't know why people can be so negative towards the elderly, they are just so lovely and friendly.
I remember two days ago I was in hospital for a check up, and I was hoping somebody would talk to me in the waiting room. Then this lovely old lady came and sat beside me and began talking to me for ages about her life and her grand daughter. We had a lovely conversation that really cheered me up.
I then went to get the metro to go into the city and at the metro stop another elderly lady called Maire began talking to me. I again had a lovely conversation with her and we even ended up going shopping together! lol!
She was lovely and kept on talking about Irish history, I learned a lot!
I'm certainly glad I was not in that supermarket you were in when that man began harassing that woman, I have an awful temper and I definitely would have seen red, big time.
Karma will definitely bite him in the ass, if it has not already. And like yourself, I'd love to be there to see it.
Nice insightful hub Ladyjane! :)
Cheers,
Iontach
Respect for elders starts at home. Our children learn from example, if we teach them that seniors aren't important and not worthy of our time they will in turn not have respect for us in old age.
It's poor (or non-existent) parenting. Your behaviour is a reflection of your upbringing, full stop.
I really don't think culture (in the sense of race) has anything to do with it. But culture in the sense of modern/'pop' culture, more than likely. When the media glorify mean people, when reality shows are all about ganging up on weaker members just so you yourself get ahead, when it's 'cool' to ostracize those who are different from you in any way (high school movies, anyone?), we're sending a message to our kids that it's not only OK to beat up on the weaker members of society, it's actually normal and even funny. A sad state of affairs indeed.
I think its because elderly people are the weakest and easiest to take advantage of. They pose no threat. I am only 21 years old but i am an expert on history and over the past 30 years the U.S had deteriorated from a society of respect into a society of greed and strong vs week. I can see the same thing in other areas of the population. Can you imagine someone in the 1950 openly saying a hard working police officer, teacher ,or even factory worker was overpaid and didn't deserve to make a decent living! Yet today we see it in the news everyday! We now have a society that pics on the weak. The elderly are cast aside because they are useless in this power game of strong against weak.
there should be respect to elder as they are a storehouse of knowledge and experience
National Grandparents day is in September. Celebrate by reading The Wooden Bowl - El bol de madera
I do believe that the elderly should be respected but I also believe the youth should be respected also. I remember growing up that the older adult(before they became elderly) would be verbally abusive and always had something negative to say about youth even though they were young at one time. I believe in the golden rule “treat others the way you want to be treated”. That rule has nothing to do with age…yet the elderly act like they should be entitled to respect when they themselves don’t give it. The question is what type of seeds do we sow as middle aged adults to receive disrespect from the youth. Before that person became “old and frail” how were they in their youth? I tell you that I was talking to a neighbor and her daughter got into a fight with another neighbor’s child and do you know what she did? She cussed that child and called him fat and ugly and continued to belittle this child. It is sad to see us abusing the youth and then questioning why they are rude towards the seniors. I have heard of seniors spitting and kicking the young people that care for them. I don’t believe moral teaching should be one sided. I think that is what is wrong with the American society. We get mad at the people who get pushed over the edge but not at the people who instigates the outcome of a negative reaction. Case in point we get mad at man that hit his woman but not at the woman who beat on him first. I was abused physically and emotionally over the years from the older adult even though I have healed from those wounds that was afflicted on me in my “weak young years”, I learned the value of the golden rule and try to make headway in being positive and respectful to everyone because one day I will be old and I would want the respect that I gave out to the young generation. I have met seniors who had beautiful spirits and good relationships with the youth because of how they treat them and in turn the youth is respectful to them. I tell you it is a beautiful sight.
To ladyjane1: Excellent hub. I totally agree with you.
It is so sad that society does not realize what absolute treasures are elderly are. They are a wealth of experience and we certainly would not even be here without them.
This lack of respect for Seniors is also prevalent in England where the young regard the old as "old farts" (i.e. useless retarded people only useful for their property which can be burgled) One huge difference between the USA and the UK is that over here there are no guns kept at home. This is great for burglars who have no scruples whatsoever about looting ones property. In this way they can bypass decades of work and being thrifty. Even if the are caught they are seldom punished and in many cases they just receive a telling-off (its called a Police Caution) There have been reports of persons committing in the order of seventy burglaries before being jailed which IMHO is disgusting. When ones possessions are rifled through and stolen the house no longer feels like a home. Its as if it has been soiled, one thing is sure, it will never feel the same again. Why should people have to move house? It is the burglars who should move to jail.
I wouldn't have that "young man" get away with abusing an elderly person like that . he got out of line . if i had been the store owner i would have had security kick him out of my store for harassing her . he should know better than to disrespect his elders . that's why we have spaces reserved for the handicapped and elderly . they go first by law . i hope he gets sued someday for harassing the elderly .
Merlin Fraser has some good points in his analysis (I went that far back), nevertheless there are other issues at play here in attitudes toward the elderly. As someone else pointed out, self-respect - or lack of it - plays a lead part in bullying. In a balanced society we would give everyone their space and take our turn, but it isn't and we don't... At least some don't. It might stem from self-pity, but it doesn't excuse gross behaviour towards those now more dependent on others than they might have been.
There is also an issue amongst the elderly that they expect respect come-what-may. You get respect by your bearing, and then again we're all products of our environment. Some have never seen respect, know how to earn it, nor ever give it. Plain and simple.
This is an excellent hub and I regret to say that things are very similar in the UK. For a typical case see You Tube "Scotrail no ticket". In this clip the ticket collector who appears to be aged over sixty, is given abuse by an eighteen year old who has no ticket.
Latest one that I have read is yobs in Newhaven UK stoning the lifeboat as it was leaving on a "shout". Perhaps they wanted to trash the lifeboat so that people would be left to drown. These yobs ought to be birched.
I can see this one's going to run and run, like 'Dad's Army' over here, about the WWII Home Guard at 'Walmington-on-Sea'. It was a popular series about 'have-a-go' ex-WWI servicemen and a youngster too young for active service. The antics they got up to would have creased the Germans up, rather than defeat them on the battlefield - which might have been just as good in the circumstances (and more economical in terms of ammunition). What's lacking is community spirit, and self-respect (as I've already said).























































































hypnodude 2 years ago
There are four things that I really can't stand, and these are violence on children, women, older ones and animals. That's why I wrote two hubs on self defence.
The problem is that that guy, and many others at least in the West, do not respect anything. I think it has a lot to do to the fact that first they don't see themselves getting old, and second that they are not any more used to live with grandparents. This doesn't happens in the East where old people are seen as wise and helpful for families. It's a matter of respect. In Italy it's the same. And it's a shame.